“Dirt Gremlins”

Scene 1: “Alarm Clock”

{Opens with an alarm clock sounding, and then from out of frame, a man’s hand hits the button to stop the alarm. The camera slowly pans over to a pretty odd character of a man. He should be, in some ways, an “Every Man.” He’s obviously single but a young businessman. Not a slob - at least not entirely. Maybe he has a mustache, glasses, etc. He wipes the sleep out of his eyes and yawns}

Every Man: Already, huh? Welp…Another day, another dollar.

Scene 2: “Bathroom”

{Our “Every Man” is now in the bathroom, and we can see a few random cuts of him brushing his teeth and shaving. Hopefully, once again, looking odd, exciting, and comical while also being an “Every Man”}

Scene 3: “Breakfast Table”

{“Every Man” pours himself a bowl of cereal with milk. He munches a few bites while looking at the box.}

Every Man: What the freak? This has like my daily allotment of calories.

Scene 4: “The Car”

{“Every Man” walks to his car and puts the key in. The door comes open. There are soda cans, wads of paper, shoes, a beach towel, sports equipment, fast food bags, etc. It’s comically a total mess.}

Every Man: Ugghhhh. What a mess.

{He’s visibly not happy with his situation or himself}

Scene 5: “While Driving”

{It’s awkwardly quiet while “Every Man” is driving. You can hear road sounds, and that’s about it, and then suddenly there is a rustling that starts to get “Every Man’s attention.}

Every Man: Huh? What’s that?

{Car Gremlin #1 reveals himself down on the passenger floorboard. A person’s head and face are painted with shoes under the chin and pointy ears. The rest of the person's neck down has been green-screened out. The gremlin looks scary but stupid.}

Car Gremlin #1: Ehhwwwhhhhwwhhhhwhhh!!!!!!!!!

{“Every Man” looks shocked and gasps for breath.}

Car Gremlin #2: Ehhhwwwhh! Ehhwwhwhhh! Ehhhwwwhhh!!!

{We see Car Gremlin #2 in the rearview mirror. “Every Man” is very disturbed now, and we can tell he wants to close his eyes and pretend it was all a dream, but he’s hit with the realization that he has to finish driving to work, so he just tenses up and resolves to keep going despite the gremlins screaming at him in his car}

Scene 6: “The Office”

{“Every Man” walks into work and sits in his cubicle. He looks over to another cubicle where a coworker is sitting.}

Every Man: Hey Todd. Can I ask you a question?

Todd: {Without looking up from his computer screen} Fire away.

Every Man: I let my car get a little dirty, I guess, and umm… well, have you ever heard of there being like these…ughhh…little guys, like things that like yell at you from within the trash?

Todd: {He immediately looks over this time} Ewww. You’ve got “Dirt Gremlins,” man.

Every Man: Dirt Gremlins?

Todd: Yup. Dirt Gremlins. And if you don’t do something soon. They’re going to take over your liiiiiiiiife.

Every Man: {Takes a hard swallow and looks around with anxiety, sweating now} Well, what do I do? What do I do!?

Todd: Ok. Don’t worry. I’ve found myself in your exact shoes several times before. First, on your lunch break, you gotta…

Scene 7: “Cleaning the Car”

{Show quick cuts of “Every Man” cleaning every part of his car and grunting a lot in the process. He’s pouring whole jugs of cleaning chemicals and using a huge vacuum. He’s removing things with rubber gloves and tongs and putting them in biohazard bags, but it’s all really quick.}

Scene 8: “Back at Work”

{“Every Man” sits back down at his cubicle, somewhat disheveled}

Todd: {Very seriously} Did you get the little bastards?

Every Man: {Out of breath} I think I did. I think so.

Scene 9: “The Drive Home”

{“Every Man” clocks out. Then a little later, while driving, he looks around his car, and he looks proud of himself}

Every Man: Spotless.

Scene 10: “Returning Home / Bathroom Again”

{“Every Man” returns home with a smile on his face. He looks satisfied not just to be home but to have accomplished something that day. The audience knows that all he really accomplished was vanquishing the Gremlins.

He walks to the restroom, and we see up from the toilet his satisfied smiling face until it starts to change toward one of despair and then into utter fear and dread!}

Every Man: Agggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Dirt Gremlin #3: Ehhhhwwwwhhhhhwwhhhwhhhhhhhh!!!!!

{There’s a dirt gremlin in the toilet where he was peeing, looking rather menacing!}

The End.